I am really tired. I cannot follow on T.A.Springer, I cannot understand Yau and Schoen, I cannot classify principal bundles, I cannot find a house to live for next year. Sometimes I feel I should quit math and seek life in something else.
I also miss Leah a lot, but what to do? I know I do not love her anymore, and she has never loved me in the first place. The feeling makes me feel frustrated and I do not want to deal with it. I have to read.